The Black Day Book
Any day can be black day. These are days when you know you're a mere speck on the face of the earth, when you are no longer be to delude yourself that there is a point to it all.
Life is a slog, and some days are beyond endurance. When you're stuck in traffic, the elements conspire against you, your flight is cancelled. You need to decide if you will let the world push you around, or if you will fight back. On the black days the world is against you. It's right that you feel paranoid. The panic rises, frantically, you search for comfort in all the wrong places, you feel abandoned in a scorching desert and dread lurks over your shoulder. You can feel yourself plummeting to the bottom of a deep pit. Misery overwhelms you and you wish you could disappear off the face of the earth or crawl into a cave, where no one can find you and you can try to forget yourself. On the black days nothing goes according to plan. You can't find anything to wear, your hair's a disaster, you get lost, or suffer public humiliation. Friends and realtives turn on you, you walk around all day wiht your fly unzipped, or you're mistaken for a criminal. You feel pushed to the edge. Your job is mindless grind, everyone wants a piece of you. You surrounded by fools, backed into a corner, with no escape in sight. You might have severe acne, fetid breath, rotten teeth, putrid gas, a starnge growth, or a face only a mother could love.
You konw the world is out to get you. So what should you do? Nothing. What's the point? Thing rarely get better. It's best to just stop trying, and surrender to the forces of the cosmos. Just grimace and bear it.
It's important to realise you are alone, responsible for your own survival, with only your wits to rely on. Go after what you want, don't let anyone get in your way. If someone interests, tell them where to go. Don't let yourself become on of those gentle souls who wants to save the wold. Is it really worth saving? What with polution and the hole in the ozone layer, global warning, overpopulation, the threat of terrorism, war,karaoke and agong rock stars who just won't quit.
But worst of all there's love. Which inevitably leads to heartbreak, hate mail, emotional baggage, paranoia , sleeping alone, insecurity , loneliness and despair.
So how can you avoid the nauseating feeling that you're sliding into a pool of squalid slime?
It' simple. Avoid people. They're only going to hurt you. Lose your ambition. It won't get you anywhere. Remember that you are always right, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.Never say you're sorry. Dont't worry about other people. They need to grow up and look after themselves. Make scary faces at small children. Sleep alot - it kills time. Stop worrying about your personal appearance, nobody notices you anyway Avoid positive poeple, they 're just deluding themselves. Why worry about consequences? If just lucky, today might be your last.
Sit back and watch life pass you by. What are you really going to miss.
Just another black day.
* from the black day book that Rossa Stonier was given me on Jan 2006 before I left Perth back to Jakarta
